Wait, What!!?? A Survivial Guide for a Backyard Party?
This both is a normal backyard party and it isn’t. A “burn” event is a truly special thing. Participants express themselves. Art is created. Emotions of all kinds can run high. Because the event is held in a backyard not everything typically seen at burns will be present, but we’ll try to bring as much as is reasonable considering the space and the feelings of our neighbors.
The following survivial guide is written every bit as much for the burniest of burners, and those people who have never been to burn before. So read it! Expect to answer questions about it when you arrive at the greeters station!
¡Burnito! Principles
Self Expression – come to ¡Burnito! as the person you really want to be. Dress as you wish, express or perform something for everyone, bring your art, and fear not.
Growth – “Burning” isn’t for everyone, but the only way to find out is to try it. ¡Burnito! will be fun for all, with nothing too scary. We promise. Mostly. After all it wouldn’t be a burn if your boundaries weren’t pushed a little tiny bit.
Celebrate Now – while we never like to admit it, our time here is short, and we must celebrate with those we love while we can. Seize the day, hug the person to your left, and do something crazy. Right now.
Cooperation – ¡Burnito! can’t be pulled off by one person, two, or three. Maybe four, but it will be much better with more! If everyone pitches in, either before the event, during or after, guaranteed fun will increase for everyone. Don’t be afraid to help if you are asked! Volunteer for early entry and help us set up! Be a greeter for an hour! Come after the event to help put everything away. Remember, if you are reading this you help make the event awesome for everyone else!
Accountability – you are responsible for your own experience! You are also responsible for the experience of the person next to you – recognizing this helps create a community of people that can work, play, and help each other. Everything you do changes the universe – so why not choose to change it for the better?
Leave No Trace, Take Only Memories – a core Burner principle is Leave No Trace. That means that when the event is done, there’s no MOOP (Matter Out Of Place) to be cleaned up by the event organizers. ¡Burnito! is a little different than typical burns in this regard, since there is no overnight camping – BUT, Leave No Trace is so important to the Burner culture that we’re asking every participant to bring their own cup! And, if you bring gifts of the liquid kind to share that they not be in individual serving containers like bottles and cans. Think kegs, growlers, premixed drinks, you get the idea. The other side of this what you take from this event – which should only be memories, and the empty versions of the full things you might have brought, and the gifts you were given. Anything else should stay where it is. (Unless of course it has your name on it, and is sitting by the front door where it has been since Flipside or in the storage shed, Randy & Jim, then you can totally take it).
Consent & Boundaries – another core Burner ideal is a saying that “No Means No” and “Kinda” means “No” and “Sorta I guess OK” still means “No”. Only “Hell Yes” means “What the hell are you waiting for!!!” Self expression pushes boundaries, and the rational check against this is someone saying, “No” or even just not answering. Not only should you respect that, but you should be willing to set your own personal boundaries, and be comfortable saying “No” if you need to. After all, you are surrounded by people that believe that personal consent is inviolate – so be strengthened by that.
Children – all minors should be accompanied by someone with legal authority to make decisions for the child. As at all burn events, there may be activities at this event which you may feel are not suitable for the children in your care. It is YOUR responsibility to monitor your child and their environment. Participants are never asked to censor their art, behavior, or self expression when children are present.
What To Bring
Yourself, No Really, Bring Yourself – ¡Burnito! is a place and time where you can truly be yourself. You may transform into something new, or simply uncover what is already there. Costumes are highly encouraged! Go Google “Burning Man Costumes” to get ideas, but we do ask that you cover your naughty bits since the event will be held in full view of the neighbor’s yard and windows. Oh, whatever you wear, it is August in Texas, so don’t be the dumb, ok?
A Cup – Two of the core principals at burn events are Radical Self Reliance and Sustainability. In keeping with these principals, ¡Burnito! will not have any plastic disposable cups – please bring your own non-disposable cup to imbibe with. In a real pinch an old Doritos bag makes a usable cup. If you want to bring something liquid to share, bring it in bulk, and prepare to leave with your empty container!
Art – An important part of being a Burner is to participate, and not spectate, at Burn events! If you have any art you’d like to bring, big or small, please bring it to the event. It might be wise to bring it Saturday for proper placement, lighting, or other particulars that will show your art in the best way. Your costume can certainly be your art!
Gifts – Many participants choose to bring small gifts, trinkets, food, drink, or other things that express their generosity. You don’t have to bring something for everybody, and you aren’t expected to give a gift in return for receiving one. Accept a gift gladly even if you have nothing to return but a hug. But, consider that your time can be the most precious gift of all – volunteer to set up on Saturday, or perhaps join the Greeters table during the event!
¡Burnito! Policies, Safety and Other Important Stuff
Hugs – the typical ¡Burnito! greeting is a hug, even for someone you have never met. If you would rather shake hands as a greeting, this is completely fine, just offer your hand out first. If someone offers you their hand as a greeting, take it with joy and respect their wish to shake hands for their greeting. In this way, every meeting of friends, old and new, starts with consent and a level of intimacy comfortable for everyone.
Photography, Recording and Social Media – pictures and other recording are permitted as long as each participant recorded gives their permission first. If anyone asks you to delete or remove a photograph, we ask that you please accommodate their request. The default world, in some cases, is not yet ready for the events and activities at ¡Burnito! and some participants may be seriously and adversely affected by their images appearing on Facebook or other social media.
Pets – service animals are always allowed at ¡Burnito! Most burn events bar any pets from attending, but at ¡Burnito! you may bring your well behaved pet if you register them with the event organizers when you RSVP. Burn events can be stressful for pets because of the lights, sounds, and other stimulus – so it is always best to arrange for a backup plan if your pet has a negative reaction to ¡Burnito!
Greeters – the first people you meet at ¡Burnito! will be The Greeters. The Greeters table will have a large metal dinner bell – RING IT WITH WILD ABANDON! Your greeter will likely offer a hug, and check to see that you have read the Survival Guide (you will be given a quiz), and check to see you have brought your cup. Once inside ¡Burnito! you can be a Greeter too! Just listen for that bell.
Mutant Vehicles – ¡Burnito!, unlike other regional burn events, takes place on a very small tract of land, about 55’ x 220’ or basically in our backyard. Mutant vehicles must therefore accommodate this restrictive space – and take up no more room than the approximate size of a piece of carry on luggage (like a remote controlled car) or a fabulously decorated bicycle! If your mutant vehicle is a more normal size affair, it must be legally allowed to drive on city streets and parked out front. Please alert the ¡Burnito! organizers and we’ll even reserve you a super close parking spot!
Law Enforcement – we sincerely hope our friends who also happen to be members of our city’s fine police force will attend ¡Burnito!, and with that in mind all local, state, federal, ethical, moral, and yes even physical laws (read the Principia by Newton if you need to brush up) should be followed. You are responsible for your own experience, and your actions, at ¡Burnito!
Burnable Art – please register any burnable art with the ¡Burnito! LLC by simply emailing llc@burnito.org. If a burn ban is in place, and your art is larger than a matchbook, please make arrangements to take your unburnt art with you after the event.
Flora and Fauna – A few things to be aware of at ¡Burnito! – first, Señor Agave, the huge blue agave plant in the backyard, should be viewed and admired from a safe distance as his spines are sharp, study enough to pierce a mutant vehicle skin, and therefore dangerous. Dangerous fauna are limited only to the odd mosquito or wasp typical of Texas backyards, but you are encouraged to Gigi, our black cat, or Nancy, the neighbors black and white cat. If you see a grey cat – leave it be. He is Sparky and does not consent to anything.
In and Out Policy – ¡Burnito! is so much smaller than a typical burn event that you may come and go as you please, especially if you are running out to replace supplies.
Lasers – laser effects are allowed as long as you generally just follow the “don’t be a douche” guideline – keep laser light pointed away from people’s eyes, and especially away from the neighbors windows.
Nudity – ¡Burnito! is held in a backyard within full view of the neighbors, so in order to maintain good relationships with them and respect their boundaries, we expect everyone to dress and costume accordingly.
Amplified Sound – the ¡Burnito! LLC will arrange for all of the sound equipment needed. At larger burn events, amplified sound equipment and the people responsible for operating it must be registered with the Sound Lead. For ¡Burnito! we’ll probably just have two speakers anyway and maybe a megaphone to troll with.
Drones – drones are allowed at ¡Burnito! only if they are used in a creative art display. Drones with cameras and other recording devices are not allowed unless you have specific permission from the LLC. Besides, if Pete our neighbor sees a drone flying around he may grab his shotgun, so best keep that expensive stuff at home.
Parking – just park out front somewhere. No big deal. If you see a reserved parking cone, we’re holding that spot for something cool.
Trespassing – anyone found at ¡Burnito! behaving crosswise to this Survival Guide will politely escorted to the front gate. This is a private event on private property and attended only by our invited guests.
Staying the Night – unlike most burn events which are multi-day, camping out affiars, ¡Burnito! has extremely limited overnight facilities. If you are coming from outside of the Austin area, contact the ¡Burnito! LLC for a camping spot our property, a couch or a spare bedroom with us or one of the Area Facilitators or Leads.
Facilities – ¡Burnito! is held at a private residence and has facilities you’d expect. We also have Wifi and Cable TV. The ¡Burnito! LLC briefly considered having our electricity and water cut off for the event to make it seem like a real burn but decided that idea was completely stupid.
Ejection – The ¡Burnito! LLC reserves the right to eject any person for any reason, without any prior warning. So behave yourself or Robin will take your ass out.
Firearms & Weapons – ¡Burnito! is a weapons and intimidation free zone, so no real or even fake weapons are allowed at ¡Burnito! Sorry if this limits your art or creativity, but we’d much rather be safe than sorry.
Exodus – if your name isn’t on the mortgage, you can’t stay forever. Exodus will begin Monday morning whenever we wake up and we hope to have the land, including the burn scar, completely restored to its natural state by Monday at 5pm. Please volunteer for this important effort as it will help us decide whether to host ¡Burnito! again some time.
¡Burnito! Glossary and Departments
DAFT – Design and Fabrication Team – refers to the people responsible for building the effigy, which at typical burns is the size of a house and takes months to design, construct, and assemble. For ¡Burnito! our effigy will be no bigger than 3’ tall and it will be designed and built all on Saturday evening. We like to focus on the essentials, and not the size.
Default World – the everyday world we experience outside of ¡Burnito!, or other burns.
LLC – any time you see LLC, it refers to Mike and Robin McShaffry, owners of the event property and the people ultimately responsible for holding a fun, safe event. They can be contacted at llc@burnito.org.
MOOP – Matter Out Of Place. This is the common term for crap on the ground that doesn’t belong there. Prepare to take out whatever you bring in!
PETS – first aid and medical volunteers. We may have some, but don’t count on it. Recognize them with the typical snakes on a staff symbol on their shirts. If no PET is around for you, check the downstairs bathroom for bandaids and Advil.
Rangers – typically the eyes and ears of a burn event, these responsible and sober volunteers walk around and help people answer questions and solve problems. For ¡Burnito! we’ll probably see a couple of Rangers walk through the event and introduce themselves, but don’t be surprised if they take one look around and go off shift, get their burn night costumes on, and become “part of the problem”.
Sanctuary – burn events can be stressful, and sometimes even the most experienced burner just needs someone to talk to. ¡Burnito! will have a sanctuary volunteer if you need one! Just ask.
Shaven Apes – refers to some amazing volunteers that add a little muscle to help set up larger, theme camp structures before the event begins. Anyone who shows up at early entry (basically Saturday) can be an honorary Shaven Ape.